why insecurities are a pathway to success

Photo by Katie Moum

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? I don't think I can even recall an interview where this two-sided question was not asked. It never surprised me, but it always tripped me up because you never want to portray the negative side of yourself. However, you have to label some characteristic as your "greatest weakness" or you appear arrogant and a liar. If my memory serves me correctly, my answer would be something like "My greatest weakness is that I am hardest on myself."

It was a partial truth. More than that, it's actually a partial lie.

If I'm being honest now, it was a twisted way of saying that I hold myself accountable in an attempt to comfort my potential superiors that I didn't need to be micromanaged. It was a tactic to twist my "weakness" into a strength. Why was that my reaction? I assume that it is not just me that approaches this two-sided question in this way.

We are groomed to avoid all vulnerability. Show no weakness. Filter your flaws. No wonder I tried to manipulate the two-sided question. It reflects my perspective of denial. I refused to see myself as possessing any negative characteristics which denied my ability to find space within myself for growth. The things we do when we try to live up to a facade of perfection.

I have recently been made more aware of a negative habit of my own - thanks to the continuous reading of empowering texts by women who share their authentic experiences combined with research and anecdotal evidence. One I can stand up and own as my weakness. Negative self-talk. The loop of doubt plays in my head when I consider certain challenging situations like losing this happy relationship weight, applying for grad school, drafting a young adult novel, or expanding my team of boss babes within my beauty business. The whispers of impossibility echo in the chambers of my mind bouncing around making themselves at home. Negative self-talk is dangerous because it starts and ends all on the inside which means there's no way for anyone other than yourself to stop it.

It can also be the smallest thing for me. Like what to wear or how to pose in photographs. Because there are so many pressures I feel as a female to appear in a specific way. Of course I seek fashion advice through several blogs and of course Pinterest. But I allow my negative self-talk to derail any confidence I possess. It's an ongoing battle for me, and some days I win, but other days are rough. I never quit though. And because of that - I get to enjoy photoshoots with friends that remind me how true beauty comes from surrounding yourself with people who bring out your true joy and silence your insecurities.

Four women from four diverse backgrounds beautiful all in our own ways. (@ Flower Vault, San Antonio, TX)

Identifying my weakness finally in my late (as in the last year) of my 20's is the most freeing experience because now I address it directly. This ability is what we must seek. We must look inward to find our shortcomings deep in the depths of ourselves because that is the only way for us to eventually reach our full potential. Your "greatest weakness" is your own villain for as long as you give it power over your decisions, perspective, and understanding. You decide.